Crap My Dog Says

You humans are nuts. When I’m down and depressed and want to go to that great kennel in the sky, I usually just go take a big dump in the backyard. That not only cleans out my anus, but also my brain, since for us our brains are connected directly to there. I don’t know how it is in humans, but I have seen how much toilet paper you use and that convinces me it may be the same for you. The only thing you don’t do is lick it. But that’s because you can’t get around to your butt, not because you don’t want to. If you could, you’d find out how wonderful it is, and you’d be doing it all the time. Like us.

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