Crap My Dog Sez

In the Womb

Cramped in here
seven of us licking
each other inside the wall
and me, Aussie
oh, and George the HammerJammer
don’t know why he has that name
maybe it was all that wrestling
in the womb
anyway I’m part
white and black spots
on my feet
when I get out of here
I’m going to run
like a gazelle
by the way
is that what I am?
A gazelle?
I can’t leap that high,
or maybe I’ll get eaten by a lion
that might be kind of fun
being in that kind of
closed space
I don’t really know
no one tells us anything
down here
just gurgle gurgle
and this loud thing in back
going ba-bump ba-bump
what’s that?
I can nestle down here
forever just oozing
all around
sliding here and there
licking licking licking
and I’m oh so fine
Hey what was that
that big bump
oh oh oh
something big is happening
oh wow squeeze squeeze squeeze
this is awful
look at my face
it’s squished
I don’t like this
I want a refund

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